Coparents and the Dreaded Drop-Off
Usually drop-offs with the kids go pretty smooth.
They tend to be a little clingy, and they want to give me about 89 hugs and kisses before they go with dad, which is super sweet, so you gotta love that. But yesterday was a little tough.
You see, at almost every transition there is one of the three kids that want to stay with me. It's a bit heartbreaking, but I know it's normal and we find our way through it. I tell them how much I love them, that they can always call me, and how much fun they'll have with daddy. And I tell them about something they can look forward to when they get back.
But yesterday was different. None of them wanted to go. It was awful.
Now, I know this isn't a reflection on dad. They've had a pretty crazy, less than structured schedule lately. We're working on fixing that. So the back and forth on this particular day was rough for them. They just wanted to be here (as they would have normally been), they needed more time with me before another transition. Then to add insult to injury, as they're all asking me not to go, I have to walk away and shut the door, feeling like the worst mom ever. :(
It doens't only happen at home, not even to divorced parents. How many times have moms and dads dropped their kids off at daycare, and for the first couple of weks it's pure hell. The kids act like you're leaving them with monsters, and that what you end up feeling like yourself.
Parents, though, have been going through this, like, forever. My ex used to say to me that as soon as he left the driveway they started crying. Hmmm, I was never too sure about that. I was sure, however, that by the time they got home and settled that they would be just fine. Part of children's journey through divroce is learning how to transition well. Personally, I think this becomes a fabulous life skill. And parents, on the other hand, must learn to let some things go, as heartwrenching as it may be. This is a life skill for us, as well.
So, I wonder what it's like for other coparents during transition time. Do you ever have problems with the kids not wanting to go? What do you do to make the drop off go more smoothly? Then how do you get over the feelings you have afterward?